songs of a wounded healer

singing songs again and again

2 notes

The colors of healing
Azure
the color of ocean tears that will wash away
wounds that bleed
 *
The color of hope
that green grass
will outgrow misery and defeat
 *
Lilac
 is the color of the gentle swish,
the watercolor in an overnight dream
 *
And red.
Red is the color of the heart of tomorrow’s

Tomorrow’s waking beat.
*
Day 12-13

The colors of healing

Azure

the color of ocean tears that will wash away

wounds that bleed

 *

The color of hope

that green grass

will outgrow misery and defeat

 *

Lilac

 is the color of the gentle swish,

the watercolor in an overnight dream

 *

And red.

Red is the color of the heart of tomorrow’s

Tomorrow’s waking beat.

*

Day 12-13

Filed under last 100 days internship

1 note

The board exams

is starting to fill the pressure of my arteries, which increases the total peripheral vascular resistance of my blood vessels. An increase in blood pressure? Maybe. It also stimulates the beta receptors of my heart. I am tachycardic. Now, that would increase my total cardiac output which would again increase my blood pressure.

Enough said. Time to study.  

Day 14

Filed under last 100 days internship

2 notes

I still cannot grasp the idea of how you can pull out a mech vent of an intubated child (a 15 day old baby to be exact) just because the parents are a few days short of paying for the rental. Its just plain cruel. Life is worth so much more than 2,000 pesos.

A pediatrics resident

Day 15

Filed under life last 100 days

3 notes

Due

lifeisgoodblog:

Each time I am asked to look after a patient in the ICU, I think of coloring inside the lines, writing in cursive, walking on a balance beam with my arms held out to a T, thighs strong, head high, pulling up hips, knees, ankles, one foot in front of the other, a family of ants on its way home. I…

Day 16

Filed under internship last 100 days

0 notes

Day 17

My last duty was spend at the Ambulatory Clinic. Our last rotation followed the binomial distribution of toxicity since we ended up with a fairly benign rotation. Family Medicine. The feeling was bittersweet. Counting down the last few minutes of my duty seemed surreal, almost impossible to happen.

Early in clerkship I always told myself that the sleepless nights are bound to end after a few more months. Then, in just a blink of an eye, the moment was there. One step at a time. 

Filed under last 100 days internship

33 notes

one step forward

rogrogrog:

I am now officially an integrated clinical clerk (ICC). This means, I will be a full-fledged clerk next year and then an intern after. =)

We are officially over lectures in big groups. We have been subdivided into blocks, smaller blocks and smaller worlds. Welcome to the Clinical World.

I…

Day 19

Filed under last 100 days internship

9 notes

rogrogrog:

Dear Lord,

Thank you very much for reminding me that I can. Despite the many times I doubted myself that I can, many times I wallowed in self-pity, and the many times I was consumed by my fears, You and I delivered. Today, you reminded me that I have all I need to be able to conquer all of these. That what You gave is enough for me to be who I want to be.

Thank you very much for the gift to believe in myself. 

Your Son,

Roger

Day 20

Filed under last 100 days internship

3 notes

5 years ago I handled course coordinating for the very first time, vowing to bring neuroanatomy down from its traditionally ivory tower manner of teaching to something medical students could relate to, in a student-friendly manner. 5 years later, that first batch of students are now almost fully-fledged doctors.

Dr. Pascual, my favorite neuroanatomy teacher

Day 23

Filed under last 100 days internship medicine neurology

2 notes

A penny and a dime

I was on-duty at the pediatrics ER during that time. A child was intubated, and the mother needed around P 2, 500 to fund the mechanical ventilation of her child. In our hospital, watchers do the incessant ambubagging for the patients who cannot afford the price.

This poses a risk for a child to develop pneumothorax and a whole gamut of complications.

While writing down orders at the physicians table, the mother asked my resident if she can lend her money for the mechanical ventilation. She promised that money is on the way, and that she would pay her as soon as possible.

My senior was exhausted. It was during the wee hours of the morning, unholy time at that when this mother approached us. The resident showed her wallet, a meager P 200 was all that was.

She vented why this had to happen in our hospital. The doctor spends time thinking about the diagnosis, treatment and saving a life. Then on the other side, she has to juggle an issue concerning money and her sanity. 

Caregiver fatigue. 

Day 24

Filed under last 100 days internship